How to be happier?

Getting rid of any unnecessary things
in your life

Leave behind all the stuffs that makes
you doubt yourself
whether it is an object,
A person,
Or job,
Just do it.

In order to be what you ought to be
you are required to take risk
take chances and
opportunities

Leave the things that's been
holding you back
Go upon your limit if you could
Step out from your life
And really live your life

Embrace yourself
For who you are
Your strengths and weaknesses
are what made you the person that
you are
nobody is born without flaws

Appreciate what you have
and complaint less

Live with the least
and not asking for more

Start little
Eventually
things grow

Smile and be happy
in everything you do

Have a heart that's
glowing brightly

A mind which is always
open

BE CURIOUS

Emotions

It's exhausting letting emotions to guide you
Emotions are so strong
it changes eventually
without you even realising
Sometimes it brings you good vibes
Sometimes it can drag you way down

Are we meant to be filled with emotions
or is it better to have no emotions at all?

I hate how intuitive I am....
Always..
24/7..
making up my mind..
Thinking that I'm right..
Jumping to conclusion..
For every possible thing..
Making myself miserable.



.......

Numbers

People often get shocked when I say
I'm taking 11 subjects for SPM.
My aim is not getting straight As
even if I want to
I know my limits
I'm not a study person
I love to learn
slowly
To me it's all about being educated,
learning and understanding
Getting how many As is another thing
It's not a big deal to me
Not even for applying colleges
Or scholarships and stuffs
If I could I wouldn't take spm.
Narrowing everything we've learnt,
into marking schemes
is not how learning should work
What's the point of only having
so much to study
But in the end,
Answers with specific key points
are the only ones located with marks
It's just so ridiculous isn't it


Society makes it seem that you only
have one way to a successful life
Which is
Study study study
Get your degree
or even master
or even higher level education
Yes it's important to some profession
Depends on what you are going
to further study on.
If you're really interested in something
without hesitation
you will go for it
despite what's holding you back
Whatever you're passionate in,
you would strive it,
Make the best out of it,
Be creative in it,
Probability of people having exact idea
is 0
Discover your capabilities
your interests
your specialty
Do what fits you best
Never try to fit in something you're not

always trust yourself

You VS world

I may be questioning a lot
why am I on my knees,
Why do I always fall,
Why this and why that..
Mostly negative situations

Have you ever ever felt like the whole world
is against you without any particular reasons?
Like you're stuck between trying to fight through
life and being the victim as the weak one

Am I strong enough
Can I do this on my own

Right now I just want to find my passion
and live in it without worrying much
about any other thing

I need to find myself,
My purpose of living,
Surely there'll be puzzles
to fix and solve
Surely there'll be difficulties
But one day, looking back at it
it wouldn't be as big as it was in the present
I need to see things in a longer run instead
of short temporary term

Ive never really questioned myself
Why am I so blessed
Why do I have such luxuries
How did I afford this and that..

All I ever did is to fill myself
with negativity, unhappiness and depression
Why am I doing all these to myself?
Don't I always want to be happy..

I often speak louder than action..
Saying things that I would and want to do
but not actually put my heart into it and do it
Some thing needs to be changed here

Wake up, Branda Yap
You're the only one against the world
You are bigger than all negativity you face
Stand up brush off your burdens
Live in your instinct
The only person you ever need
in your journey of life is
yourself and the almighty God.
Trust in him for he has great plans for you.
Don't let any little obstacle stop you
form anything you do.

Why?

Constantly questioning about my existence

Life is such a pain in the ass sometimes

When's the track going up again?

I'm tired.

I'm drained.

I'm so exhausted.

That's it!

Ive found my answer to my questions of being alone

Weeeeww I realise that
I myself is capable of controlling
whatever that's in me
I have to first enhance self love,
Get to know more about myself,
Fall so deeply with myself,
Be the number one fan of myself.
I've said it times after times
And I came to the conclusion
that I don't really love myself
Self acceptance and self worthy
is the key to unlock what's pulling
your happiness back

"I realised that longing for love was 
due to the lack of love I had for myself and life."


When you fall right down on your knees,
Think carefully.. Who's the one really pulls you back up?
Yes, you might have people whom you think
carried you up but not really..
They're just there,
as your supporters,
your pillar of strength.
The only one who uses most effort
to get back up is
Y O U R S E L F.

If you don't even thought of
wanting to stand back right up on your feet
Nobody's able to support you
they'll assume you're alright
They'll take that you're steady
Feelings are hard to tell.. Yknow

Being alone doesn't mean there's no
Happiness
In fact to think about it,
I personally think happiness comes from within
Without inner love, self love, self everything,
There's no way outer love will exist.

Always always have in mind that you
should believe that you deserve love
Believe that you're amazing inside and out
In that case, you will find yourself happier
and filled with rainbows and whatever
that makes you happy and joyful
You are so much more than what you think
You are worthy and loved
XX

For the tiniest thing

I get annoyed way too easily that
it ain't even funny
I hate how I have this thing in me
It's frustrating being annoyed for one lil tiny thing
The feeling of annoyance just gets to me
in 0.25 sec every time I'm annoyed
Super uneasy
If I had one and only one wish to make,
I'd spend it to stop being annoyed
Can't explain in words how
Annoyed I felt when I'm annoyed..
Is the other party that annoying
Or
I'm just sensitively easily annoyed ?
Is this a mental disorder..
How can I change..
It's been testing my patient since then
I can't do no more
It's really hard zzzzzz
Need help SOS TT

Happiness in friendship

Seeing people happy makes me soooo happy
Happiness to me is a lil different from others
Well maybe :p

I like seeing smiles on people's face
I like laughters and joy
I find happiness when I'm able to make others happy
It's such a great pleasure

I'm really grateful with what I have,
The little friends that I have.
Words can never express that feeling
when your close ones are contented
It's just like a spark
It ignites your life
It burns brightly in flame

Quantity over quality.
Keep friends who would do whatever
you would do for them
Keep a gap for those who's only temporary
Learn to value friendship not in a way that
one day after sometime it'll fade
A lifetime buddy is what you odd to find

In these many years of living,
I've met different kind of people/Friends
It amuse me how every single person
has very own character/personality
I mean I do know that, but to sum it all up,
I have had friends who's still with me
even until today
Watching each other grow is so much fun!
Even that we're all distanced but
the heart stays close
I'm grateful for them who stayed <3
There's of course people who left
And I'm grateful for them too!
They've left footsteps in my life
They've left memories in my life
They've been the best yet worst
They've taught me how easily
people come and go
And that's alright
It's a part of living
It used to get to me
and it's crazily annoying
cause I couldn't believe that
they actually would disappear
from my life
It's hard to believe someone
soooo close to you
become someone who
you wouldn't really want to
connect with anymore
I've realise,
It's their choice to leave
and there's nothing much
you can do about it
It's their lost, not yours
It may be sad/disappointing/heartbreaking/
any other worse adjective to describe
but people like these aren't worth a single
thought and s p a c e in your life.
The world exist with over billion of human being
Tons of people out there to be found,
To be friends with..

Forget bout all those who hasn't been loyal.
Live your life with a heart of forgiveness
Forgive those who's not really smart
Forgive those who left
Cause they've taught you lessons and
made you stronger

XYs

Ok.. Let's talk about guys.
Honestly I try to tolerate a lot of bullshits
I can choose to ignore
But it ain't right for me to do that
I'm definitely not a egoistic person
I really like to connect with people,
Talk,
Communicate,
Make friends..

Nowadays people take texting for hours
to a whole new level.
Being interested in someone ain't bout how long
you talk on social networks
But to have conversation in real life,
Spend time sharing interest,
Get to know each other,
Go on many dates,
if it feels right,
if it falls in place,
slowly there will be chemistry
and chemistry will do the thang
Depends on the "bond"
Get it..?? Get it??

Texting ain't the real deal
I mean like hey wake up
You're being really immature if you think
someone's interested when they reply you fast,
and stuffs like that.. Idek what else
Or
Maybe I'm too friendly?
Maybe I'm too nice?
I really don't think so cause I'm just me
I'm treating every other the same
I'm confused of how someone could take
texting for long called "a thing"
????????????????????????

Makes no sense to me

If you are trying to jump into something more than friends,
I'm not the one you're looking for.

Future plans?

I have a list of what I want to do,
and absolutely no plans to follow as a guide
I just want to live, freedomly
what comes in my way,
I want to go through it
how bad or good the situation is
I dont mind falling on my knees
because it's time where
I'll get up stand up
and learn, grow, be stronger.

I have 0 idea of what to do next
after graduating high school
I dont think college/uni is necessary for me
Im not saying it's not important
I'm not gonna stop learning
but I just dont want to spend cash going to institutes
to get education
Education is such a vital necessity in life
and I never want to stop being educated
I want to educate myself in ways that suits me
studying is sooo not my thing
It's just.. im not born for it really
sometimes you just have to let your guards down..
you know..
trust your instincts..
you were born for a reason,
to be living for a reason
for the time being spent,
is for you to decide how you want your life to be
how you would leave before you stop living
no one can really dictate your life
as they have theirs to live on
Dont let no one tell you what you should do
life is so much more than just one way
When you can visualize it,
you definitely can be it
dont be afraid to be different
live in your own ways
life is so so so so much more than what it has been told

To a new fresh start doesn't mean...

To restart, kick off a new life doesn't mean erasing all the things in the past

But to take them as guidience, lessons, mistakes that can be changed

So at the beginning of wanting to write again,

I thought off deleting all my old post

cause it was embarrassing and childish 

That's what I did on my Instagram..

I deleted every photos I've posted

Just so nobody could ever see them again

Because I thought it was the "past"

I'm aware that deleting it on Instagram 

doesn't mean it is deleted in my life

I still roughly remember what I posted 

mostly selfies ;P and also some diys 

And my life..

I wish it was still there..

I wish I could look at it again

And smile every time I scroll through

Or look back how things are different 

I'm glad that all my post on this blog are still readable 

Yes it is embarrassing

Yes it is immature

But heyyyy look how much I've grown!

It makes me giggle every time I see it

To restart a life is not to be looking back at what you did..

Look forward to what you want your life to be

and strive for it

Picture says it all

Picture above just says it all. This quote have been up on my wall ever since 2012. I told my friend it really means so much too much to me and guess what? I got it for my birthday! I was extremely excited and happy that it's finally on my wall. Just 4 words, it tells you everything.
Before bed, I'd look at it and look at all the polaroids I've taken, it brings me back in time for all the moments. Just one look, all the memories come back instantly.

I can't begin to tell you how much mix emotions every time I take a glance on it.
By time, things will change eventually without you realising.
Sometimes, life gets abit unfair by secretly taking things away from you.
For instant, friends, good times, la la la.. So on.. I'm pretty sure most of you can relate
Like you're constantly asking yourself.. What happened? Wow we were so close back then
Things like that.. Sometimes it hurts just seeing someone who was once there for you, once close to you, once your everything buddy, went missing in your life, being strangers again.

One thing this quote really inspire me is that,
No matter who you met in life,
What you had together,
Someday it will be a memory,
Worth keeping.
It keeps you growing and growing
By memory
I never want to ever stop growing up
because
I want to keep making memories
in my life
When the day you stop growing,
Is the day where you stop living.
Live in the moment
Keep making memories
For sure there will be sad ones
And for sure there will be days
Where you're just contented
filled with joy and laughter

Through every storm and rain you will see light and even rainbows
Through every hardship you will find ease
For all the memories you have,
It's more than just the "past"