Update on being lonely and lost

last post I talked about feelings and thoughts about being so alone.

The feeling's getting worst
I can't begin to express what I'm feeling
I'm just so so so lost
And broken

It came to the point where I just feel so useless
What is the purpose of life?
What am I living for?
Till today the question is left unanswered
God, please bless me with a bright vision
I really really want to find my passion
I want to find myself
I desire to be inspired myself
each and everyday
Doing the things I love,
The things I'm born to do or be
I want to be somebody
That's worth more than trillion bucks
I'm so afraid to live
In darkness
I'm so done being stagnant
I wanna break out and just trust God
In whatever I'm opposed to do
I want to know what's the purpose of my life
I want to.

have you ever?

Have you ever felt so alone when youre already been surrounded by people, close ones?
have you ever been in a situation where you just feel like youre lonely and lost?
like youre in the middle of a bone dry desert with nothing and nothing at all except maybe a ball of hay/tumble weed.

cause let me tell you, it's where I am now.
I know I said that I'll never let negativity take the lead.
It clearly seems like it's taking me over.
I'm trying my best to look at the bright side.
I believe im feeling like this because it wants me to realize something
I believe I'll learn something out of this
I believe there's a reason why are these thoughts haunting me
I will surely get through this with time

Life is never stagnant
its never the same phase
never easy at all times
everyday is a new day to experience
to live on
to conquer

I am happy yet sad. I dont exactly know what I'm feeling.
sometimes I just feel like I need something more than a friend
I need a company
I want someone to share lives with
I want to grow with a somebody
I really want to meet the other whole
who's meant for me and only me
No, im not desperate for a guy
I just want everything to fall in place already
I want to settle in with life
and yeah
I know when the perfect time comes,
it'll happen
and I really hope the time is soon
It's about time, to learn more about myself
while that special someone is finding me,
I want to know every bits of myself,
I want to love myself more than anybody else
and when my other whole comes into my life,
I will know in & out about myself.
what i like & dislike
how i want to be treated
how i would be so in awe
I want to be prepared to be love
I f  y o u  d o n ' t  l o v e  y o u r s e l f , w h o  w i l l  ?
self acceptance is really really important
I always remind myself,
if I dont love myself, accept myself for who I am
who will dare love me?
It's time to open my door
Im almost ready to let people in
and not shut people out
I need more light in my life
I need more than just what I have
I need to stop thinking about my past
and live and make the most out of it
I cant be thinking that every guy is the same
anymore
it's time to walk by faith
close my eyes
and walk slowly and steadily
through hills and valleys
through many many paths
and see who will join me!

No one should be your goals.

Lately I see lots of people saying " u r goals " and stuffs like that. I mean like it's totally fine but why are you not your own goal? Set yourselves as goals! Goal to see yourself in the state you desire. Why wanting to be someone else that you will never be? Focus on you yourself people. You will realize how much of a "goal" you are when you actually aim for it. No one in the world has the same feature, no one has the same flaw. Therefore no one has the exact same goal. Do planet earth a favour and be yourself. Be a divergent and make the world move with your very own bliss xx

                  You will definitely stand out ;D

Why go vegan ?

Where to start again?

It's been way toooo long since I last wrote.
Time took off like a rocket it's has already been 4 years!
Looking back, so much have changed!
All the bad grammar and stuffs makes me giggle reading it :p
Oh man how I miss those days
Literally so so so much has changed over the past years
Been through so much that I wish I wrote it down.
Went through ups and downs loopty loops 360degree
and I am still here today.
I think it makes me who I am today.
There's days where I'm super contented and
there's days where I'm down feeling depressed.
Highlight of the years, I'm happy to say I'm not who I was anymore.
I used to be cheerful outgoing and everything positive.
Till high school came I became timid.
And I guess that's when I stop writing?
It was no point to me to share sad embarrassing stories.
Insecurities took over me. I don't even know how to live.
Years pass by with no true happiness.
I was that shy introvert + I was anti social
I hated how I'm -100% confidential
People come people go constantly.
I was scared of people.
I was intuitive thinking everybody dislikes me
I was l o s t
This year around I realize I am the one who's going to bring happiness positive vibes to myself.
I'm no longer depending on people around me.
No longer being insecure thinking how people will think of me
Say whatever you want to say it doesn't matter to me anymore
I am finally living again. And what matters most to me, my happiness.
 Oh and did I mention I went vegan overnight? :DDD
I think it helped a lot in changing myself. It made me realize everything!
Life is really too short being in comfort zones.
Step out! You will not regret xx


I am finally seeing the bigger picture of life now.

Give yourself a chance to live

"If you're not going to be yourself, who will?"